Chuck Norris Bitch Slaps Duncan O’Finioan

ChuckNorrisWe have learned that during Duncan O’Finioan’s most recent Las Vegas  “seminar,” Chuck Norris was also in the city and went to confront Duncan. When Duncan saw Mr. Norris, his face went pale.

Mr. Norris said to Duncan, “I hear you’ve been telling people you kick-box trained me while at The Farm.”

“I….uhh…umm…ughhh…platttzz,” mumbled Duncan.

“Care to explain yourself, punk?!” said Mr. Norris, and bitch-slapped Duncan hard. He said, “I never met you, I don’t know you, The Farm my ass! You? You train me? What a freakin’ joke!”

Duncan fell to his knees, whimpering like a whipped dog, and began to piss and shit his pants when staring up at the awesome power of Chuck Norris.

“Get with the reality of it, son,” Mr. Norris told the quivering broken down Omega Unit. “That screen you see me on, those are movies, I am playing a character; I was never in a Delta Force or Special Ops or the CIA. I’m a martial artist who got into Hollywood fiction to make a few bucks. We have never met, except in your delusions and warped booze brain, and you sure as hell never trained me in squat, O’Finioan or Fannin or whatever you call your worthless heap of skin and bones. I am sick of you con artists who like to pretend they live inside a comic book world making shit up about me. I should teach you a real painful lesson, punk.”

“Puh-puh-lllease don’t h-h-h-hurt muh-muh-meah, sir,” mumbled Duncan.

“Pathetic,” said Mr. Norris, spitting on Duncan. “Not even worth it.”

Mr. Norris walked away and Duncan feinted unconscious, as witnessed by dozens. His soiled pants made many go peee-euii!

 

Posted by D.N.

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27 Responses

  1. 🙂 Bet Duncan doesn’t blog on this. lol

  2. Sounds very petty. Just make him disappear if he’s that much of a problem.

  3. One way or another, Duncan is always good for a chuckle…

  4. Moral of the story folks. Never tell a lie or one day its gonna bit ya in the rear just like what took place between Chuck ‘The Roundhouse Kick Master’ and the Cowardly Lion Duncan O’Weakling.

    • I like that. I tend to put everyone on a stage as well. Makes people easier to predict. =)

  5. well, even if the story is real and makes me somehow happy to se this Duncan in such a situation in public, Chuck Norris is dead for me ! I looked up to the man when I was younger, but since I saw how he supports the neo-con wing in the USA my admiration dropped a lot.. since I saw him now openly supporting this piece of shit of Netanyahu and his isrteali nai Regime, he definitely died for me !

    • Chuck Norris never apologizes. –DN

      • chuck is a sell out

        Clint is the real deal ! the empty chair speech sums up this president named osaoma oops obamo yo moma …..

      • I meant israeli nazi regime ! anyhow, what does your answer mean.. are you on the side of Zionist Israel ? in this case I really have nothing to lose on this blog.. cheers

    • Yep!

  6. I find this very hard to believe ! If you people had been through half of the terrors hat Big Duncan had been through you would stop drinking Cool Aid

    • Looks like you drank it, Paddy, if you believe even half those half terrors, half-assed and made up. Like telling people he trained Chuck N. and was a former kick-box champion, although there is no record of that? Or that The Karate Kid is based on his childhood? That he studied with all those sensis when he was supposedly on secret black ops missions since he was a kid? Sounds like a great comic book imagined by a hillbilly with a dull life. Let’s put it this way: he was indeed sold into a government experimental program where they messed with his mind to make him create this imaginary life. Or let’s say this: he is the off-spring of Alestair Crowley time traveling and knocking up dozens of women across the 20th Century to create an Omega Unit of bloodline drones. –DN

      • he is delusional like drake- btw- where is drake and what’s he up to now?

  7. Chuck is the man!

  8. C’mon Chuck, how are you not going to do your trademark roundhouse for someone like Duncan. That is like Jake the Snake with no DDT. It’s just not right.

  9. gay!

  10. Great masters move with their minds. So, an out of luck irishman gets bitch slapped. but hey, what’s new?
    what you need is Van Damme, remember ‘Time Cop’?.

    • chuck zito kicked van dames ass w one puch in scores strip joint
      in nycity see howard stern interview w zito

  11. We are truly living strange times in our galaxy and cosmos

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvptzvMwVoQ

    Please give chuck his own beam ship.

    Thats a vision i like

  12. Sorry but this is retarded. Even if chuck norris did come to kick my ass, I would not shit and piss myself. Some of these posts make me wonder if any of this is true.

    • There are only facts and truth on this blog, sir. And who are you, Mr. Smelly Fingers? Are you saying you are Duncan? But Ducan is not in Miami like you are. –DN

      • 🙂

      • smelly fingers lol

  13. Duncan may have joked of training Mr. Norris, but jokes fall flat when people are tested. This may have been what he needed. Then again how did he respond to the chance of a lifetime. Soiled pants. Then again is this even real or ever happened. I doubt that Mr. Norris would waste his time with maggots.

  14. Be seeing you all soon Bobby Joe.

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